“Falling In Love” is a work of art I created to start off the Infinite collection. It got its name in celebration of my engagement and I posted it to Facebook almost exactly one year from my wedding date! This piece was such a challenge and took me about a month and a half to complete. It was one of those pieces that I kept building on until it felt just right… and it turned out so unique and unruly. I love it so much.

— 2019 WAS THE YEAR OF WEDDING PLANNING —

AND OF COURSE, ART WAS THE THEME.

Featuring my new collection of artwork on the blank walls of our wedding venue was the plan.

“I’ll call the collection ‘Infinite’ as a symbol of love. The florals will signify the joy of our wedding and It will match our wedding colors— neutrals, blush!? YES!”

It was going to be epic.

dream

big,

paint

bigger

The Infinite Collection felt so free and unruly that I just couldn’t stick to one size! I love working small scale but working large scale brings a whole different vibe. It’s ENERGETIC, INTENSE and just a plan old GOOD TIME. However, this doesn’t take a way from the fact that working on a large painting is very time consuming. A lot of paint layers and thought goes into large scale artwork, but at the end of the day… it is so so rewarding.

I mean…can we just take a second? (insert heart eye emoji here)

IT DIDN’T FEEL REAL

I remember the day that Danny, my fiancé, told me that we might have to cancel our wedding. My heart sank and all I could muster up was, “Are you serious?”

He smiled at me, nodding his head ‘yes’ and rubbed my back. I couldn’t believe covid-19 could cause this much damage. “Is this real?”, I just kept laughing. We knew it was going to be okay but I mean…..it was like the final straw. The wedding was canceled, wedding shower was canceled, my bachelorette party, my honeymoon- everything was canceled. I had a small bit of hope that when May came around everything would calm down and we could just go about our lives…… but here we are ya’ll.

I didn’t know what to do. I remember that night brainstorming all the ways that we could make this work with all the “ifs” and “buts” and to be honest, it was really emotional.

It took weeks for the bad news to set in…. and in the mean time… I created art.

“Stronger Than Ever” is a painting that reminds me of this feeling. Inside of me was anger and sadness… and I painted it. I liked the way the painting looked- all gloomy and moody… it was exactly what I was feeling. As I painted the background, I felt some type of relief and new that my artwork was exactly what I needed. I made a connection that day. I knew that art was going to help me get through this.

Usually I’m the positive one in the relationship, but WOW. Danny changed my perspective in all of the chaos and I’m so happy that he was there to lift me up. He literally helped me find the good in every change that came our way. There was a straight week were I was painting this collection and all I could think about was how lucky I was to have my positivity filter through a person and have it radiate back at me. Does that even make sense? Either way, I was super grateful that he was helping me through it and really happy that this painting came about because of it all.

My whole family helped me look forward, focus on the good, on the positive, on the light. I finally realized that this was God’s plan all along. We decided on a small wedding ceremony and postponed our reception date to the fall. It sounds so simple, but man, it was such a strange and difficult decision to make. If there’s any 2020 brides reading this, I feel for you.

I have a lot of time to think as I paint in my studio. I paint and listen to my thoughts and gain inspiration- it’s a pretty cool cycle.

I reflected on the covid situation in relation to my wedding. A LOT. Like I said earlier, I think God wanted it this way. I am a firm believer in the saying ‘everything happens for a reason’, but honestly, I just couldn’t figure this one out.

AND THEN I realized that all of the artwork that I was creating for the purpose of my wedding wasn’t actually going to be shown. I had planned to display my works of art at my wedding….. I literally PAINTED MY COLLECTION TO MATCH IT. All of the blush tones and ivories were wedding inspired. I felt so hopeless at this moment and actually felt really sad.

I saw Danny that afternoon and he was all cheery and happy…. but I felt awful. I had tears in my eyes as I explained to him that my artwork felt like it lost its purpose and I didn’t know what to do. My realistic fiancé replies with a laugh and says “I think you’re more upset about this than our wedding!?”

Looking back on this moment, that was actually kind of funny. But this was the moment when I realized how much my artwork meant to me. It was a huge wake up call. The more I painted the collection, the more attached to the artwork I became. The paintings saw me when I was blindly getting ready for what the next months would bring. The paintings saw me in tears of happiness, sadness and helped me cope with my emotions. I use to be kind of confused as to why I’d cry at random times in my studio- but now I realize its because I feel things so so deeply. I’m really glad that I’m sharing this with you guys because it feels like the weight is lifted off my shoulders. And hey, thanks for making it this far.

Anyways….

It’s safe to say that these pieces mean more to me than any other originals that I’ve painted before. < AND THAT MEANS A LOT because I’ve created a lot of art.

THIS IS DANNY.

Yup, he crashed my studio photoshoot and I was really happy about it. Danny and I have been dating for almost 8 years now ( WOAH ) that’s pretty cool to say out loud.

Danny and I went to high school together and started dating sophomore year of college. Being in love is a really amazing thing. He’s my absolute best friend. We’ve really learned a lot from each other over the years and I’m really lucky to have such an an incredible guy who supports me. Danny is the definition of chivalry and he is so thoughtful and genuine. He is also the definition of reckless. He’s a complicated guy. LOL. Enjoy these photos of me accidentally poking his head with a paintbrush! xo.

All of the paintings in this collection relate to me and how I feel. The paintings with the navy blue background (like the one below) are a reflection of myself. I can relate to that rose. It sounds kind of strange, I know….

Like I mentioned earlier, the studio is a place where I paint and reflect. It’s been like a rollercoaster….

I created a lot of 8”x8”s in this collection that definitely gave me some clarity throughout self quarantine…

— At the start of the collection… I wrote this down to keep me inspired. It really helped me out when everything changed and life started getting hard.—

“The Infinite collection is a direct reflection of the growth in my life. My art is a symbol of a snap shot in time... a way to remember this feeling of optimism + gratefulness.”

Finding notes to myself are always so encouraging. It reminds me of how strong I really am.

THE COLLECTION ENDED

I painted and painted and painted until my heart was content. I remember all of my artwork staring back at me thinking, “wow, these got really colorful after a while!” I was SO in love with that. The colors told my story so well from start to finish. The collection got brighter and more saturated as covid kind of took over the world. I found that so interesting that I essentially used brighter colors for therapy…. they helped me find balance within myself.

THE MUSIC HIT ME

I began uploading my work to my website and I was really excited to start working on the next stage of my launch. I started to play soft music to keep me calm… and of course, my first go to artist is Sleeping At Last. The song “Sun” began to play and I absolutely fell in love. I played the song over and over again, this time obsessing over the lyrics and letting it sink in.

It got to the point where I was so invested in the music that I started to get that weird feeling again. It brought be back to the paintings I created at the start of the collection, before covid-19. The song reminded me of the times when life was normal. I felt nostalgic and grateful at the same time that art and music came together and melted my heart all over again. “Sun” is an amazing song.

SO GET THIS ONE…..

Ironically, I was scheduled to teach a virtual dance class on Zoom with my students the next day… AND —BOOM— IT HIT ME.

“I have to dance to this song.”

I choreographed a contemporary combination and taught it to my students on a Zoom call the next day. I watched them all through a tiny screen dance it back to me with everything they had. They filled it with so much passion and intention. They finished the combination and I actually cried right in front of them. It was so beautiful. Lyrics, movement and art live in me so deeply. I swear, during this moment the stars aligned. It was my heart reminding me that I was destined for this. Destined to be an artist, destined to get married, destined to have found this song at the perfect time. It was like the universe gave me a sign that I am right where I’m suppose to be.

I had a few of my dancers send videos of them working from home during quarantine. They’re passion lights up my heart.

Featured dancers: Merin Squillante, Julianna Buono, Meaghan Leibert

With golden string
Our universe was clothed in light
Pulling at the seams
Our once barren world now brims with life
That we may fall in love
Every time we open up our eyes
I guess space, and time
Takes violent things, angry things
And makes them kind

"We are the dust of dust"
"We are the apple of God's eye"
"We are infinite as the universe we hold inside"

"Infinity times infinity"
"Infinity times infinity times infinity"
"Infinity times infinity times infinity times infinity"
"Let there be light, let there be light, let me be alright"

The dust of dust
We are the apple of God's eye
We are infinite as the universe we hold inside

"Let there be light, let there be light, let me be alright"

With golden string
Our universe was brought to life
That we may fall in love
Every time we open up our eyes

-”SUN”, SLEEPING AT LAST